Friday, November 26, 2010

drunken behaviour not tolerated by others. Even though it wasn't me.

Here is an email I received in my facebook inbox from a seemingly disgruntled patron from my local pub. And underneath is my response to her massive douchiness. This is what you get when you tell people your name. They can find you. Creepy.

All I have to say to her (aside from my long, rambling response) is: You got fat and while I have too, you're still fatter, and you're ugly. So I can understand your grumpiness in the real world. Maybe I should have just said that instead.

Subject line reading: You're going to think this is a bit rude


Between You and Kate Gannaway

Kate Gannaway 26 November at 15:10 Report
and I apologise in advance for the facebook email... I just really wonder if you realise how loud you are sometimes when you're leaving various establishments around crows nest?

Sleep is precious to me, and about 4am this morning you woke me up - I could hear you coming down willoughby road and along albany street, I heard you still yapping away at the top of your voice as far up the street as oxley street... You were telling some guy that he just talks too much... which is kinda funny...

it's not the first time you've woken me up - but i'm sure you're just not aware how loud you are..... again, apologies for the facebook email - I wanted to talk to you about it last night, but I didn't want to spoil you having a great night out..

take care, speak soon!

kate
Justine Simpson 26 November at 17:23
Ok, so I was at home in bed at 4 am. I left crowie at about 2:15-30 am, got a kebab, then went home. In a cab. Not to mention i wasnt even near willoughby road or albany street?? I dont even know people who live that far down let alone be bothered to walk that far, so that wasnt me. And i certainly dont do walking. I catch cabs. Everywhere. Please feel free to ask any of the crows nest patrons who know me and ask them if i do ridiculous things like getting a cab from the top of crows nest to the bottom of crows nest, because i do. Due to bad knees i CANT walk too much, ESPECIALLY in heels. Hence many ridiculous cab fairs (and many lame apologies to cab drivers for the handful of small change i'm guiltily handing over while trying to avoid their disapproving stares).

And for the record, i go out once a week. Last night it was a thursday, but its usually a friday, (this is due to being sick, therefore being unable to work, meaning i live on $50 a week. So one night out is all I get and i try not to waste it on a weeknight) but again, the only walking do is to the cab rank outside crowie.

If you would like to know my where abouts for all the other times i have apparently woken you, please let me know as i am almost 100% certain that it wasnt me due to afore mentioned reasons. Please let me know if you would like written statements from my parents as to my whereabouts on those particular evenings as im sure that without a doubt, i would have been here, and home (and super depressingly) with them.

You know, it really would have been better coming from you last night at the pub where i could have stated my case in an irrational drunk (yet cheerful) manner and apologised profusely for all my wrong doings and your lack of sleep, even though i'm almost positive they arent mine to apologise for (except for friday 2 weeks ago. That was almost definitely me as its the ONLY time i have been out past 4 am (hell, past 2 am even) in many many months due to a friends brief visit from perth and we did go to the pie shop on willoughby road because, well, we were drunk and hungry and therefore, loud. Massive apologies for that)

Look, Kate, I dont deny that I have a loud voice, I do. Its extremely irritating to most and i once made a dog vomit due to its ear-piercingly painful pitch. But do you think that maybe, JUST maybe, there are other people out there with loud voices too? I am almost certain that there has to be because said person woke you up at 4 am. If my dog could give you a testimony to my where abouts (at home. in bed. with her) i'm sure she would, but she cant because she's a dog. And dogs cant speak let alone write.

I'm sure you will either not believe me, or think that i go into far too much information about my personal life, but i felt it necessary to go into so much detail so I could 1) explain to you at just how sorry i am for your loss of sleep, we've all been there, it's never nice; and 2) prove my innocence from aforementioned claims.

While I know this email is dripping with sarcasm, it is still the truth and one thing can certainly not be denied: your email WAS rude.
Maybe next time a mere question of my whereabouts at 4 in the morning BEFORE making such accusations would be more appreciated. (again, let me know if you want those testimonies) and may I suggest ear plugs? this will no doubt be of help due to your apparent close proximity to the pub or should ear plugs not work, a relocation of ones home? possibly a further distance from a constant stream of loud drunk people next time.

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